Being a writer is being able to turn anything and everything into something read-able. The most boring thing in the world can serve as inspiration to me to come up with an adage or funny story. I tend toward the adages and wisdom. The whole wisdom thing is me both trying to define myself, and being fed up with a seemingly corrupt, stagnant world.
The problem I face as a writer is that the idea of an audience has changed so much throughout my lifetime, and writing in my journal alone without an audience makes me feel… a little like a crazy person sometimes. Maybe it is the “thrill” of creating something and just putting it out there. For me its kind of a safe thrill at the moment as I’m fairly certain no one is reading me. Never the less, I love this and it feels great.
In terms of finding my place in social media, I personally don’t really feel like I want to follow anyone, or that I need daily tips. That kind of a thing often sets me off in a bad way. Archetypes aren’t real for a reason, and there is no such thing as perfection; there however is nothing wrong with striving for excellence… and there is the occasional moment where I see how my life journey and insights might serve to help others, so long as they don’t go bonkers getting all obsessed with me. Noone wants that kind of pressure. We’re all just human. “Please forgive me if I act a little strange, for I know not what I do,” David Gray. Now he’s someone its kosher to be obsessed with. Maybe I’m harboring on this obsession topic because its an affliction I’ve suffered from and have real fears about, and it’s not just because I present as a pretty girl. O God. I can feel the feminism coming… but I don’t have the strength…
I don’t mind hearing positive things (and I’m talking about the role that social media plays in the lives of the masses), but I am already well-accustomed to helpful proverbs, and these can inflate my ego in a harmful way at times. Maybe its a desire to connect and feel understood (going viral). I commented on the collective unconscious desire to “go viral” in a different post. I think this comes from many places. Of course there are those who feel so self important that the world is being deprived of their talent, ego, whatever. There is the feeling of great financial insecurity, of not knowing oneself and then being able to know oneself through another’s eyes, but there is also this connectivity that I keep coming back to. Its not a calling for friendship in the old school sense of friendship. It’s all changed. We don’t need those kinds of friends anymore. We just need a quick two second acknowledgement that we’re not alone, we’re not insane for feeling the way that we do, and if things are ever down, that there are ways of getting up. It’s like we’re all under each others halos (because of the internet and technology? or because of a lot of factors in this moment in human history?), and I am reminded of a quote that is sometimes thrown back in my face, and I mean that in a nice way, because it is flattering (and sometimes scary) when people quote me to myself, “We are all each others gurus.” Ya know I may be crazy but I think I know what I meant when I said that all those years ago and I think I still believe.
I do believe in fairies. I do. I do.