I love all the 90’s throwback culture, especially anything with a remnant of human suffering awareness, breakthrough, & recovery. Having survived an entire decade makes me feel empowered, like I have something to speak on.
Faith tricked me. I once said to myself to hang on, “lots of people have gone through stuff so I can too,” and it was the only thing about how reality worked that I knew. I think that’s good enough, no? For me it was, and I worry that if any weak soul relies too strongly upon this little pearl of wisdom, they may forget that faith alone is not enough, but do allow your mind to soak that one in if it pleases you or comforts you as it is both comforting and confusing me in this moment. I really don’t dig the yoga diva side of myself. I’m not sure why it’s there. I think it’s cause I am some kind of yoga rock star underneath it all because I so embrace the “you are your only true teacher” thing; sorry, not sorry? I’m a bitch?
I read Skinny Bitch and went Vegan for two weeks before going to my homeland (Judaism rearing its ugly head again) and didn’t want to not indulge in my culture’s food and then it sort of drifted from my mind, probably because of all of the pressures that food presents to a girl in her adolescence. In any case I’m talking about food which needs to sometimes be holy, and sometimes be common; in this moment the paradox of my holy relationship with coffee is cracking me up, but more than anything I want to comment on my proud drinking milk from the carton moment. I read that 1/3 of the human population can digest milk, and there are those moments when I’m just trying to get as many calories in while my stomach and body and soul can take it and I just feel like an elitist snob for happening to be one the 1/3, and then I start thinking about my other genetic advantages and disadvantages, and then I start thinking about Evolution/Evos and then I start to deconstruct everything and then I stop living, and then I remember a quote from one of my favorite films “Waking Life” that goes something like this,”people have the wrong idea about existentialism. its not about deconstructing everything. it’s about living life and doing things.” For some reason this quote is like warrior II and that really pisses me off, and I love that as well, and I kind of am a skinny bitch cause girl you know us skinny bitches be haaaaaaangry
Evidence of hanger: “in her fitspo fatigues by day and oh look- there she was in England with her friend Matthew, and do you notice? She’s in a bed of all places, having the time of her life. Girls who have personalities while in bed are the best because they understand what goes into hanger and what comes out of it; they know what I mean by hanger too, and simultaneously don’t because they/we will never truly accept that we are such nasty bitches sometimes. The thing is I’ve suffered a lot for my feminist struggle, and I will make no apology for my “hangery” ways.