There are lots of fun ways to be in ones’ body and I would like to take a second and gaze upon the wonder of that:
I love how a runners high can bring me back to my inner Janis (Joplin). I’ve noticed that taking the time out to gaze upon a slideshow aids in focusing, rather than a ton of scattered images, though I do love when so many different things hit you all at once. In any case, I totally get the “i want to run/i don’t want to run” feeling. It can be super confusing, especially if you have a history of “health problems”. Hah. The problem is not that you’ve had a history of “health problems.” The problem is that Western Medicine really needs to catch up, and well… I don’t feel like being harsh on the human spirit right now. There’s no sense in lingering in guilt over disappointment in oneself I’ve learned, or very little virtue to it anyway.
A wise woman once told me that the body may be wiser than the mind. If you’re ever unsure, try sitting down for a moment. Bodies naturally want to move. If you don’t have the strength, it probably won’t happen, and if you do, it just might, but the most important thing to me anyway is not setting my expectations because I truly never know if I’m going to feel well for a run. This is the control freak attempting… a kind of autonomy she sort of feels is new, yet it is a familiar feeling none the less. In any case Britney Spears, Alanis Morissete, and Cheryl Crow rock on… Janis is somewhere chillin with Jimi and John Lennon and I think they’d totally get you guys.
and so the story goes…
…strolling in from my mile run I don’t even care how long the damn thing took,and I don’t think I ever gave a shit. I just like the way it feels.
Alanis or Britney or a third option I pondered for a while knowing there was a good chance I’d be listening to nada as I can be forgetful; that’s kind of why I don’t get attached to things- I know all about how forgetfulness can lead to disappointment.
In any case I was just appreciating my forgetfulness because a long time ago I found a Britney cover of an Alanis song (you oughta know). Dilemma not only solved but transformed into an even holier upper for my run. Fuck yes.
So I’m having one of those moments that I often experience where everything sort of just feels exactly… in place
I really dig the fact that Britney wanted to be like Cheryl Crow or Alanis when she first got into “being an artist” or so my revisionist history tells me (#britneyisahero), and I get her talent and drive. And each song, even old ones like “Born To Make You Happy,” still have a way with me. Britney, I feel like I get you. Thanks for the girl power.
In any case I feel like some sort of relic, because I have walkmen, and I never got super into the whole iPod thing, and I hate the kind of headphones that aren’t headphones at all- they are these irritating things I can’t ever seem to get inside my ear. It takes the music right out of the whole thing.
Britney you survived the 90s, the millennium, and things seem okay for you now. You were exactly what America and the world needed at the turn of the century in some way, and if not who gives a shit because it already happened, and I guess that’s how I’m feeling about myself.
I’m not sure if the poignancy of the preceding is girl power, the fact that “the millennium” is something I just said as though I’m still afraid of it :P, or perhaps its nothing at all and the poignancy is just that “exactly” moment from earlier, and the moment that those words were meant to describe, and the way I’m feeling now.
Gratitude for something came to mind on my jog. Probably an offshoot of the gentle Rodney Yee yoga I’d done just prior (Maybe not. I’m just in a good mood and showing off ;)Completely forgot what it was, but its nice to think about gratitude in general.
I feel most excellent at the moment.