self torture surrender

If the beach is where I belong, then of course I’m gonna end up with skin cancer, right?

penny lane

caffeine is a wonderful social lubricant, in my humble opinion

Studies show simply being around happy people makes you happy, right?  I don’t know.  I think it’d break my heart to see all those people thinking they were happy at the beach while they were getting skin cancer… or would it?  Do I have a way of sabotaging everything?  Why am I thankful for it.  It’s me.  I have a feeling my “thankfulness” for it is adaptive.  I’m pretty sure the fact that all I’m doing is “getting fucked up on caffeiene” and watching a movie I’ve avoided for… seven years… seven years… is it no coincidence that all I ever wanted was to be a writer, and I happen to be the perfect little poet?  I resent how quaint and cute I am.  I prey upon it to become stronger.  I really dig the extra “e” I put in caffeine.  I hate it without the extra “e.”  I think I’ll spell it caffeiene, and only I will ever know the real reason I did that.  Is this what it means to be a writer?  Gloria Steinem I’d rather be a regular woman like you than be a writer.  I know that you are a writer; it’s just that every woman is a writer, and I really think I’d like to leave it at that.

It’s like you’d never understand because I know how it feels to feel like Penny Lane in Almost Famous, and maybe you do and maybe you don’t; I hope you can.  There is a certain magic to us girls; resenting the preceding statement, I revert back to a side of me that strives to be solely analytical.

Gravity. Magic. Girls. Is there anything wrong with the preceding three words all in a row like that? I apologize to my loved ones for living as though I’m dying, but something about lighting Grandpa’s Yarzheit candle earlier today helps make that all go away.  Gratitude is fucking crazy man.

“Why are you taking love like it’s some kind of blessing?”

James Dean

mystery man

I feel like I know what James Dean was like.  I think most people could imagine.  James Dean I thank you for your sexy naivete: focused to the point of destruction<-I heard that somewhere recently and it rings true with you, and me.  I did say that I would take Forever27 as a challenge; I didn’t know it would mean so much to me.

girl cartoon

ugly girl complex

“This girls got a whacked out ugly girl complex.  She’s gorgeous.”

“I think she’s ugly.”

“I think she doesn’t matter.”

“She is something else.”

peace signs

proud moment

I like the way she doesn’t care what people think of her.  For example, her interest in the following photo feels like this moment had been placed, based on where this article began:

interracial lesbians

I am trying to make a point about womanhood; rebels without a cause tend to have causes.

I’d rather not think about negativity, although I appreciate it as a reminder.  To me this photograph is a reminder of the suffering of womanhood; it lays it to rest in just the right way for me.  I guess that’s why I love the Britney “Control Freak” shot.  I am a control freak, which says a lot about me, and I am a “true artist” which also says a lot about it; it’s pressures that were placed for no reason at all; does everyone feel this?  I was feeling peaceful about reality, like about how its all been done so I can chill because life makes sense, and then its like wait a second; I’m living life too, and what have I been working toward…something about human suffering, so its okay to tend to my own.

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