Okay so why do I feel bad that I can write anything from any point of view with any kind of slant?

I feel manipulative.

I don’t like that.

Writing can be scary for crazy people though.  Trust me.  Been there.  Done that.  Became the writer, and not sure if I ever came back, so yeah writing is a risk.  I feel like my words carry so much weight.  I feel like they control me sometimes.  That’s why I put the pen down for so many years.  Oh God.  I feel like such a self-righteous pompous asshole right now.  I sound like someone who is talking about alcohol, but to be honest writing is my gift and gifts tend to also be blessings… Oh I just want to watch Charmed with my mother right now and make all of this go away, but we both know I won’t do that.  I’m hard on myself and I’m always looking for the next unfound thrill in life, something no one else has discovered, just so I can get some credit.  I think I’ve moved past that, or at some point I did, and now I crave it again.  At some point I didn’t give a shit about anything.  I took a break from all that self analysis and soul seeking and tried just being… That was probably a good thing, a good way to allow reality to act like a sieve upon this hot mess over here.  So time has passed, ballots have been filled, and what are the results Michelle?  People want answers.  I mean I want an answer… dammit… I thought that would work.  Sometimes if I’m really sneaky toward myself when I’m writing, because my thing is stream of consciousness, I can pose a question sort of unbeknownst to myself and then through writing come upon the answer.  I think I don’t want to admit that other people want answers too and that that makes me feel bad.  No I think I just have no clue what I’m talking about, or rather… being vague

Fuck everyone who hates on me for my vagueeries.  They are mine. You can’t have them, and you’re probably just jealous 😛 JK imaginary people 😉


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