There is this couple I know in real life, and everything about them screams YOUNG LOVE which is true love, which is a kind of love I feel like I havn’t been around in years, maybe since the 90’s or something. Its amazing. Its like when Cher talks about Deon and her man in Clueless and how when no one is looking they really do care for each other. To me this is the most reliable kind of love; young stupid love, a love without reason is the kind that will last.
Tonight I feel so happy and excited about my life and I fear that I will lose this feeling. Everything is in place. I know that I just have to keep going. I must maintain my secrets. I have been benefiting from attempting this “slower mind” nonsense that I used to preach when I was young and idealistic.
I am laughing because I still feel scared. In a way this kind of awful nagging feeling is comforting because it is human.
I like my control freak.