fascinations

Gisele.

I’m listening to “Breed” and I feel all… and then I hear ‘gisele’ and what “breed” really means, and hasn’t the “art” world come a long way, but still kind of sucks that I know more about the details of celebrealities without truly having been curious about them?  I don’t understand fascinations. Isn’t Gisele such an amazon and wouldn’t it be cool if that’s what he meant instead of “she said?”

nirvana candid

self torture surrender

If the beach is where I belong, then of course I’m gonna end up with skin cancer, right?

penny lane

caffeine is a wonderful social lubricant, in my humble opinion

Studies show simply being around happy people makes you happy, right?  I don’t know.  I think it’d break my heart to see all those people thinking they were happy at the beach while they were getting skin cancer… or would it?  Do I have a way of sabotaging everything?  Why am I thankful for it.  It’s me.  I have a feeling my “thankfulness” for it is adaptive.  I’m pretty sure the fact that all I’m doing is “getting fucked up on caffeiene” and watching a movie I’ve avoided for… seven years… seven years… is it no coincidence that all I ever wanted was to be a writer, and I happen to be the perfect little poet?  I resent how quaint and cute I am.  I prey upon it to become stronger.  I really dig the extra “e” I put in caffeine.  I hate it without the extra “e.”  I think I’ll spell it caffeiene, and only I will ever know the real reason I did that.  Is this what it means to be a writer?  Gloria Steinem I’d rather be a regular woman like you than be a writer.  I know that you are a writer; it’s just that every woman is a writer, and I really think I’d like to leave it at that.

It’s like you’d never understand because I know how it feels to feel like Penny Lane in Almost Famous, and maybe you do and maybe you don’t; I hope you can.  There is a certain magic to us girls; resenting the preceding statement, I revert back to a side of me that strives to be solely analytical.

Gravity. Magic. Girls. Is there anything wrong with the preceding three words all in a row like that? I apologize to my loved ones for living as though I’m dying, but something about lighting Grandpa’s Yarzheit candle earlier today helps make that all go away.  Gratitude is fucking crazy man.

“Why are you taking love like it’s some kind of blessing?”

James Dean

mystery man

I feel like I know what James Dean was like.  I think most people could imagine.  James Dean I thank you for your sexy naivete: focused to the point of destruction<-I heard that somewhere recently and it rings true with you, and me.  I did say that I would take Forever27 as a challenge; I didn’t know it would mean so much to me.

girl cartoon

ugly girl complex

“This girls got a whacked out ugly girl complex.  She’s gorgeous.”

“I think she’s ugly.”

“I think she doesn’t matter.”

“She is something else.”

peace signs

proud moment

I like the way she doesn’t care what people think of her.  For example, her interest in the following photo feels like this moment had been placed, based on where this article began:

interracial lesbians

I am trying to make a point about womanhood; rebels without a cause tend to have causes.

I’d rather not think about negativity, although I appreciate it as a reminder.  To me this photograph is a reminder of the suffering of womanhood; it lays it to rest in just the right way for me.  I guess that’s why I love the Britney “Control Freak” shot.  I am a control freak, which says a lot about me, and I am a “true artist” which also says a lot about it; it’s pressures that were placed for no reason at all; does everyone feel this?  I was feeling peaceful about reality, like about how its all been done so I can chill because life makes sense, and then its like wait a second; I’m living life too, and what have I been working toward…something about human suffering, so its okay to tend to my own.

strength vs. “tired”

If you aren’t “clever” enough to understand me, that’s okay.  I’ll do my best.  There is a difference in when people use the word “tired” as overdone, or physically tired, and there are a lot of variations of the two.  For example something can feel tired, and then all of a sudden have a slight familiar appeal, or someone might feel too tired to engage, but feels they’ve got to keep on keeping on, and so they adjust in their mind the meaning of the word “energy” as well.

Here’s one.  I want to get this overwith and its a total microcosmic metaphor to me that I personally don’t give a shit how it comes out, and I need to comment on my elitist snobbery here because that is the cliche of myself that I am fighting.  I think.  I really don’t know and not knowing is a highly common feeling.

so according to some i “lived out of my car” and I know that I’ve used these words but I don’t feel bad about it or anything, and I feel completely misunderstood, and I very badly don’t want to give a shit, because I think I’m losing the energy to give a shit, oh shit- and now I’m nodding and gaining the energy to feel like myself again.  I’m not sure what it is, but it felt good to get it out, and I guess that’s what makes me a hippy who labels herself as a hippy.  I want people to know that “it’s okay,” and I don’t know what I mean by that, and all I have to say now is… that “it’s okay” not a bad saying.

a girl that i love no homo

This article shall remain photo-less, but not image-less for a description of her beauty is so grand that soon, if you continue to read, you will feel how beautiful she is, simply because her beauty gives me strength enough to write on it, especially the meaning of beauty, and I do not show her image, because only she will let you into her eyes.  What is it about girls who don’t let you in?  They are so strong, and that’s one reason why I love her.  She hides her beauty from the evils of the world so that they will not suffer her.  She is restoring her strength, regaining a sense of the wonders that caused others to prey upon her widsoms.  We, or is it only I who is still afraid to feel beautiful again?  We both know the exhaustive nature of beauty too well; never the less her beauty has always, continues to inspire me.

coming out

Practical Magic

Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman play witches in the film Practical Magic

I feel I have been denying my inner witch, and that I should let her out.  We’re all witches though, even men.  I think being in touch with your inner witch can mean something as simple as being in touch with your intuition.

The other day I was thinking about how scary it is to bring up or speak on feminism, and that’s kind of what witchcraft is.  The term itself is a little stigmatized.  Which term do you ask?  Feminism or witchcraft?

Nicole Kidman Practical Magic

There are dangers in practicing the craft. There are fears in coming out. Writing is scary for me?

I’m smiling now.  I didn’t know I was still capable of making myself smile when I write.  Writing has become kind of a scary thing for me.  I think there was a time when I “became the writer” when I was younger and super into philosophy and figuring myself and the world out.  So I’m coming down and coming out as a “witch” or a “feminist”, for now anyway.  I think Feminism suits misplaced 20 something’s.  I hope that it suits me my whole life, which is an unfortunate hope because it means that the same problems that were presented in Gloria Steinem’s time have not been solved to my liking, and I have this awful nagging feeling that these problems will outlive me.

Practical Magic

there’s a little witch inside all of us

#themysteriesofmylife

#themyseriesofmichelle

#themysteriesofmyself

 

 

matriarchal folklore

Sometimes I think it’s no accident that the original actor who played Prue, Piper, & Phoebe’s Father on the television show “Charmed” was replaced after his characters first appearance early in season one.  I think to myself, “how could Phoebe have a vision of her father harming herself, and her sisters; with this vision, keep it from her sisters, and still go to and defend and support him.”  It’s a strange, deep thought, but not unrelated to trust issues and the wisdoms and traditions of matriarchal folklore.

Glenda Wizard of Oz

Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

Jenny Cornero

most excellent yoga teacher